When Domestic Abuse and Child Custody Go Wrong
Anyone who has ever been through any kind of domestic situation knows that when it comes to children that are caught in the middle of an abuse issue, it is then that much more difficult to leave or get away from the abuser. A lot of times the abuser will target and use the children or one particular child, to use as a ‘pawn’ and/or a means to ‘punish’ their victim in order to ‘control’ them. Abusers use the strategy of trying to get complete control over their victim by placing innocent children in the middle of their victimizing without regard to how it will physically or emotionally impact the children or how it will impact the emotional well-being of the parent that is the original target of their abuse.
To get help and a Court Order for Protection for the victim and their children quickly would be the best route to go, as this could perhaps prevent the abuser from being able to inflict further harm upon the victim and/or their children. Having this kind of court documentation will also greatly help when filing for sole legal and physical custody of the children as well. Most courts will frown upon giving custody to the abuser or joint custody to parties if there are abuse allegations against one of the parties.
The more incidents that are documented, the better it will be for your case against the abuser when it comes to all court proceedings. Ways to document abuse inflicted upon you or your children could be done by documenting, in writing, every incident that the abuser has done against you and your children - including verbal assaults - as these are alot of times also considered to be ‘threats’ or ‘threatening’, depending on the words that are spoken by the abuser. Be sure to include dates, times and places of all incidents as this will be help your documentation to be more credible if you can show when the abuse happened, how it was done and where it occurred.
Other documentation needed can include police reports, tapings of incidents whether physical or verbal (you will need to check with your states laws regarding the legalities of taping the abuser for court purposes, as it is illegal in some states to tape people without their knowledge or consent), witness testimony, photos of physical injuries such as bruises, bite marks, scratches, broken limbs, etc, photos of physical damage to property such as holes in walls, damage to vehicles, etc, documentation of medical care - also including counseling care, if any, that was put into place due to the trauma and the abuse.
You should also consider having written documentation that you can present to the courts as well regarding the fear that you have felt for your safety, fear for your life, the extent of the abusers violence or threats against you and/or the children, the extent of the emotional trauma caused to you and/or the children because of the abuse, and any fears you may have regarding the abuser having custody or unsupervised visitation with any children that may be involved. The more that you can show the courts that visitation or custody rights for the abuser would not be in the best interest of the children, the better it will be for your case.
As a victim, it is hopeful that the courts will do what is right and side with you and your children for the sake of all involved. But what happens when you have been a victim of abuse and then your worse fears come true - the abuser manages to manipulate the courts into siding with them and you are then forced to turn your children over to the abuser - the very same person whom you and your children have so thoroughly feared to begin with?
It is a very disturbing fact to know that this gross mis-justice is, indeed, happening all over the United States on a continual basis. Yet, every single day there are dozens of children from various different states that are forcibly being removed from the parent - the one who has been victimized by the abuser - through corrupt court proceedings, and placed into the custody of the abuser or the abuser’s family, all to the further traumatization of the children and the victim.
What is even more disturbing is the fact that the majority of the time the abuser is getting away with such a gross mis-justice simply because their victim cannot afford proper counsel to represent them in court, or because the victim does not know their rights or know the law well enough to present their evidence to the courts. Therefore the abuser will often times ‘walk all over them’ in court to ‘prove’ to the courts that ‘they’ are right and the ‘abused’ is the one who is wrong.
Too many times the courts may turn away from what is right in a case and make a decision based on what was presented to them, whether in error or not, and what was refuted or not refuted. The bottom line? Often times courts do not care if you do not have or cannot afford a good family law attorney to represent you and present your case the right way versus the wrong way, and they will make their decision based on the lies and errors of information given by the other side.
What can you do about this? If you believe that the court is abusing its discretion when making decisions that are based on obvious errors, mistakes or ineffectiveness of your counsel, you can report them to your local judicial board in a complaint, as well as base an appeal on this fact. The problem with the latter strategy though, is alot of times you will get absolutely no where when making a judicial complaint, as the ones reviewing your complaint are often times the very same judges peers or friends.
Ineffective counsel is grounds for requesting a new trial if you need to appeal your case, but it must be done in a timely manner, and the chances of getting a new trial this way is very slim. The best strategy? GET EDUCATED on the law and KNOW YOUR RIGHTS! When you are educated on the law and you know your rights, you can then STAND ON THE LAW of the courts, and you can EXERCISE YOUR RIGHTS during all court proceedings, having a better chance at the courts having to take your evidence, take your testimony, listen to what you or your witnesses say, take into consideration ALL of the evidence against the abuser, and take into consideration YOUR RIGHTS AS A VICTIM.
It is no secret that the court system has gone aside from sticking to their own laws and statutes, and will often times make rulings that go against their own laws and statutes, only changing their direction when someone calls them on it, or when someone brings it up before them in a court proceeding. Again, the BEST strategy would be to EDUCATE YOURSELF on your rights as a victim, your rights in and out of the courtroom, and the laws and statutes by which the courts are required to base their decisions on.
** The above information provided should not be acted upon without professional advice. It is for informational purposes only. Before pursuing child custody based on domestic abuse issues, it is highly recommended that you contact a family law attorney for the specific laws and statutes in your state, and for legal representation during all court proceedings.
Click on the link to continue your education and to KNOW YOUR RIGHTS.