Anybody who has ever been a victim of abuse knows all to well the lies that the enemy will whisper in your ear. Lies such as “you’re so worthless,” “you deserve everything that you got,” “if you leave, it will only make it worse,” ”if you leave, you will die,” “you can’t tell anyone what happened because they will never believe you,” “If you ever try to leave, the beatings will be more severe.”

The words spoken from the mouth of an abuser are not only extremely terrifying and a lot of times crippling to the victim, but most times they are also the very reason why victims are too afraid the leave the abuser. As a past victim of domestic violence, I know all too well how terrifying it can be to constantly hear threats being made against your life - threats that the abuser also, often at the same time, threatens to act upon as well if you attempt to leave the abuser at any time or if you make any sort of an attempt to turn them in to the local authorities.

Abusers thrive on the ability to be able to keep their victims in fear of them. It is how they control the victim. They not only frequently enjoy inflicting physical and emotional injury upon the victim, but they also take great joy in thriving on their ability to use their words as further abuse by making viable threats - in which often times their words hit as hard as a fist, and they know it.

They often times threaten to inflict great bodily harm upon the victim or kill the victim. They often times threaten to inflict great bodily harm upon or kill the victims’ family members. They often times threaten to harm or take the victims children away from them. They often times threaten to ‘destroy’ the victim publicly before their family, friends, neighbors, Pastors, co-workers, etc. They often times threaten to kill themselves and tell their victims that their death will then be on ‘their head’ and that the victim will then have to ‘live with it’ for the rest of their lives.

These are all lies of the enemy which are being spoken - by the enemy - through the abuser. They are also lies of the enemy that need to be permanently quieted. The enemy (the devil - who ultimately is the one behind all abuse) is a liar. In the Bible, in John 8:44 (KJV), Jesus has this to say about the devil: ”Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.” (emphasis added)

It does not matter what the words are that the abuser chooses to throw out at the victim when spewing forth such lies that are only meant to keep their victim in fear of them. The Word of God also tells us that the spirit of fear is not of God (”for God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” - 2 Timothy 1:7 KJV emphasis added).

As a child of God, you DO NOT have to believe or receive the lie of the enemy. God has wired each one of us in our own unique way, but yet we all have this one thing in common: We ARE NOT made in the image of the devil, we are made in the image of God (”So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.” - Genesis 1:27 KJV emphasis added).

Therefore, we - who are made in the image of God - do not have to tolerate the lies of the enemy any more than God, Himself, would. He would not tolerate them, He would not believe them, and He would not receive them as His own, and neither should we!

The lies of the enemy ARE NOT the TRUTH of what and who God says that we are to Him and through Him. The following words are the only words that we should be listening to as victims of the enemy in all areas of our lives - for they are based on the TRUTH of what GOD has to say about us, and are the TRUTH of what God says we are to Him:

“For thus saith the LORD of hosts; After the glory hath he sent me unto the nations which spoiled you: for he that toucheth you toucheth the apple of his eye.” - Zechariah 2:8 KJV.

You, as a child of God, are not what the enemy says that you are, but rather, you are the apple of Almighty God’s eye! You are cherished by the Almighty! Furthermore, when we read this verse of the Bible, we can pick up on and see just how protective that the Lord is toward us, His children. We can know that by reading this verse, God will not take it lightly when anyone touches us - the apple of His eye - whether by physical means such as by physically harming us nor by emotional means such as by making verbal threats against us.

As a past victim of domestic violence, I used to believe the lies of the enemy, and at one point started to actually believe that the abuse was brought on by something that I did or did not do. I would later then cry out to a God that I did not yet fully know and understand, begging over and over again for the Lord to ‘forgive me’ of these unknown ’horrible sins’ that I felt that I must have somehow ‘committed’ in order to ‘deserve’ such punishment from the abuser.

Please get this into your spirit: You do not need to ask God for His forgiveness of sins that you have not committed but are prone to believe that you have because of the lies of the enemy that are being whispered in your ear. You, as a victim, are not the one that is committing the sin. The abuser is the one committing a huge sin by abusing you. Not only is he committing a huge sin by abusing you, but the abuser is actually committing this sin against God while committing it and is actually coming up against God by doing so, because you - as a child of God and who is made in His image - do not belong to the abuser, you belong to God, and your life is not your own - it is HIS and is owned by HIM.

“What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s“ - 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 KJV emphasis added).

After many years of being in torment over not just the horrible physical abuse that I was subjected to, but also the verbal abuse that I was subjected to, I began to realize the TRUTH of what God has said about me in His Word. I began to realize that every time that the abuser would come against me in any way, shape, or form, he actually was not coming against me but was coming against God by doing so.

I came to believe this after I had received into my spirit the TRUTH of God’s Word that I do not own myself - the TRUTH that God owns me because I am His, and my life is, indeed, not my own - and that MY LIFE actually belongs to HIM because I was bought with a price - the precious shed blood of Christ.

It was only after receiving this truth in my spirit that I was finally able to relax in realizing that I really was not at fault like the devil had made me try to believe for so many years. It also was an extremely comforting feeling to finally realize that God really does own everything about me, including the parts of my past that come through as the good, the bad, and at times - the ugly. It was equally comforting to know that I would not ever have to worry about trying to avenge for the abuse done to us, as God also says in His Word that vengeance is His, and that He will repay (Romans 12:19 KJV).

But how do we get to the point of where we are able to actually forgive the abuser? The Bible tells us: “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” - Matthew 6:14-15 KJV (emphasis added).

“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new” - 2 Corinthians KJV (emphasis added).

In order to get to a place of where I felt that I could actually forgive the abuser, I had some decisions that I would need to make. The biggest decisions that I had to make were: Who do I love more? The abuser and the lies of the enemy, or God - my creator and the lover of my soul?

I realized that if I truly love God, then I needed to make the decision not to believe or receive the lies and evil report of the enemy. I also came to realize that if I truly love God, I will then have to forgive the abuser because that is what God says to do and that is what is required of me to do in order that He may forgive my sins as well.

I had to make a willful decision to faithfully serve God by forgiving the abuser of every single harm and hurt done to myself and my children during the many years that I was victimized by the abuser and his family. That, alone, was an extremely hard thing for me to do considering the fact that my son was still in bondage to them by being forced to live with the abusers family against his will.

Not only did I have to forgive the abuser but I had to forgive his family as well, in order to truly be worthy in my faithful service to my God and Savior, Jesus Christ. And it was not easy. My flesh screamed. My flesh lashed out. My flesh wanted to hurt those people the way that they hurt me and my children, but I could do none of it.

I wanted to hang onto my ‘right to be right’. I wanted to hang tightly onto the offense so that I felt justified for the feelings of bitterness, anger and rage that I felt stabbing deep within me every time that I thought about what had happened to me and my children, but I could do none of it.

I wanted to give up all hope, all faith that God would bring the pain to pass because it was just too painful of an ordeal to want to deal with in ‘the right way’, according to how God wanted me to deal with it, but I could do none of it.

I wanted to lay down and die every single day that my heart was being torn out of my chest from the pain of being seperated from my son and being forcibly raped of my motherhood by the evilness and corruption of the courts and the abusers family, but I could do none of it.

All I could do was drop to my knees and fall to my face as I cried out for God to help me to die to myself. All I could do was drop to my knees and fall to my face as I cried out for God to help me crucify my flesh and the manifestations of the pain of the past, just as it has already been crucified with Christ when He first took it all from me and paid dearly for it through His shed blood at the cross.

All I could do was cry out to God, begging Him to empty me of myself, and to do it quickly, as dying to one’s self is such a very incredibly hard and painful experience to go through at times. At the height of the dying of my flesh, I could literally feel years of pent up anger and rage threaten to spill out of me and onto those around me.

Then, just as quickly as the feeling came, I could feel years of horror, pain and suffering being lifted off of my shoulders and being completely removed from deep within me, leaving me with such a sweet feeling of surrender, that all I could do was again drop to my knees and fall on my face - this time to thank my Lord and Savior for the cost of His shed blood that bought my freedom.

Yes, the sweet feel of complete surrender to our God is such a rewarding experience that it has made it that much more easier to be able to forgive others as well and has made it that much more easier to see past the horrors and the pain of the past in order to let our Sweet Savior in to do more of a deep inner healing from past hurts - hurts that no one should have to hang on to.

To learn more, please go to [1] Deep Inner Healing For The Hurting.

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