Domestic violence is against the law. It is a crime in every state, though each states laws and statutes are a bit different than the others.

Abuse can include:

* Physical attacks, including forced sexual relations

* Verbal abuse or harassment, including disrespectful or demeaning comments directed at the victim or victim’s loved one’s

* Threats against you or another family member

* Creating disturbances at your place of work or at other public places

* Harassing or threatening telephone calls

* Spying on you or following you

* Stalking - by any means

* Child abuse

* Emotional abuse

* False imprisonment

* Assault

* Kidnapping

Domestic abuse can be handled in three different types of courts:

* Criminal court, where the state will prosecute the abuser

* Civil court, where you might address violations of an order for protection or sue for possible damages or personal injury

* Divorce or family court

Abuse affects divorce proceedings and can be a factor in limiting or prohibiting the abuser’s rights to child custody or visitation privileges. Often times domestic abuse can also include domestic violence that may involve children, child abuse and neglect and might have an impact on other areas such as public benefits, immigration status, etc.

Your fastest option for legal help is to get a Court Order of Protection. A Court Order of Protection is an official legal notice which is enforceable in a court of law which orders the abuser to stop the violence and abuse against the victim, their children, and possibly other family members as well.

Relief available for the victim under a Court Order of Protection can be tailored to the victims specific needs and can address specific concerns that the victim may have. It can order the abuser to stay away from you and can prevent the abuser from contacting you or your children by phone, mail, email, fax, or through third parties (co-workers, online websites, other family members, friends, etc). It can force the abuser to move out of your home and it can give you the exclusive right to the use of the home, vehicles and other necessities needed to maintain normal living activities. If necessary, the court may also award temporary custody of children to you, along with child support, spousal support, and continuance of vehicle, dental and medical insurance. The police can arrest and jail the abuser for violating the Court Order of Protection at any time the abuser does so at any location or through any means.                      

To get a Court Order of Protection

Call your local county office or court administration office for information, or call and tell the local police that you want to get an Order for Protection. They will tell you who to contact, often times supplying you with the necessary contact information and phone numbers to do so. Once the paper work has been filled out, you will have to go to court on a specified date to address your concerns before a judge.

In court, the judge will need to be convinced that you have been threatened with violence or that you have suffered abuse or fear that there may be abuse in the future. Documentation will help your case. Documentation includes witnesses, written documentation of incidents, police reports, etc. Police can also be subpeonaed to be witnesses at your court hearing for either free or for a small fee, depending on your area, and make great witnesses if you have had to call them for domestic issues that they have had to respond to.

Depending on your state law and how the court applies it, physical evidence is also helpful. Physical evidence can include signs of abuse such as bruises, photos of physical injuries, photos of physical damage to property, such as incidents of furniture being broken by the abuser or car windows being smashed, holes being punched in doors or walls, objects used in an assault - like being threatened with a knife or ashtrays being thrown at you, etc.

For Court Orders of Protection to work

For a Court Order of Protection to go through, your incidents report in the paper work should focus on both the incidents and the fear for your and/or your children’s safety needs. If you have children and are concerned for their safety, you must specifically request custody and visitation restrictions or ‘no contact’ orders.

You must call the police every time the order is violated. You should make copies of your order and carry a copy everywhere with you in your vehicle, purse, or other area that will be easily accessible to you and make it easier to prove that you have an order should an incident arise, especially if it has custody or visitation  provisions listed in it.

An Order for Protection is one tool that can help you gain your independence and stop your abuser from hurting you and/or your children. You should contact a domestic violence advocate - available through your local county domestic abuse center - as well as a qualified attorney in your area. A lot of times domestic abuse centers have a listing of attorneys that work directly with them on domestic abuse issues.

You will want to discuss, with both advocate and attorney, ways of ensuring the safety of you and/or your children, which can include getting or enforcing your Protection Order. The advocate can also help you and your family put into place a ’safety plan’, which is a plan of strategy to use to case there are safety issues - regarding the abuser - which you can put into place for your home, work place or other public areas as needed.

Where can I get more information?

Many state, county, and city bar associations operate lawyer referral and information services. These programs can provide you with information on the legal system and refer you to a private attorney with knowledge in family law. You can also check in your local phone book for attorneys who handle family law, or you can call your local county courthouse to obtain the phone number to your local bar association. You can also look in the yellow pages under ‘lawyer referral services’ or under ‘attorneys’. Depending on your income, you may qualify for a free attorney or reduced-cost legal services through the services of your local ‘legal aid’ offices, or ‘probono legal services’.

** The above information provided should not be acted upon without professional advice. It is for informational purposes only. Before pursuing child custody based on domestic abuse issues, it is highly recommended that you contact a family law attorney for the specific laws and statutes in your state, and for legal representation during all court proceedings.

Please click on [2] When Domestic Abuse and Child Custody Go Wrong to continue your education.

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